Gaurav Julka

The Heart can Articulate. Enunciate. Speak.

‘Benefits’, May be Friends.

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I am sure most of us have seen the movie ” Friends with benefits” .

“While trying to avoid the clichés of Hollywood romantic comedies, Dylan and Jamie soon discover however that adding the act of sex to their friendship does lead to complications.” – IMDb

One Tree Hill – Friends with Benefits

But I think that’s Hollywood, it might also work in Bollywood and mostly its true too. Friendship with Sex does lead to complications. These complications are described as  ‘most desired yet unwanted feeling’  the feeling of ‘being in love’. Love today is described in various ways, it has many definitions. I think every human on this planet will have his own definition of love and there is a reason behind that, according to me love is nothing but an ‘experience’ or a feeling of being into an experience, this experience obviously varies from person to person. Now I know love has many contexts and forms but right now lets keep the context with respect to the love between a couple.

Someone once wrote:  “Now that Sex is readily available, Love is difficult to find”  I don’t know if that is true but if it is then Movies like “Friends with benefits” are going to be the bible of love.

But I believe now days Relationships are more about “Benefits” and then may be about being friends. Lets assume a relationship has 4 phases.  1. Introduction 2. Flirty Phase  3. Dating 4. Fighting & Breakups

Phase one: Introduction – How do two people meet?  In a party?  Via someone? Internet? Many ways but the fact is the girl or even the boy will not start having the feeling of being attracted in mind unless there is something powerful attracting us. Now What attracts us? Its proved scientifically, people with Money, Power, Better Personality attract people much more than normal people and its a fact and I can tell you with  experience these factors matter a lot.  Its often seen, Girls go for boys holding positions, power or having  a rare personality and its obvious, If you are falling in love with someone, you will be spending time with that person he needs to be a charmer – There needs to be a benefit in it.

Phase Two: Flirty Phase – Flirting is fun for sure and a lot of people miss use it. Ask yourself,  haven’t you flirted with a boy or girl to get a task done? I am sure you did. Flirting is also mood based, if you are in mood you shall do it if you are not then you wont even bother replying and its okay, It is your choice. After all there needs to be a Benefit in it.

Phase Three: Dating – Now for the sake of respecting love and some relationships around me, I would consider this phase free from any ‘want of  benefits’. But then these statement – ” Why didn’t you call me?”, ” You are not there for me”, “Please get me that”, ” I need this to be done”, “We can do this, Please”, “Please do this for me” ,”  I was wondering…if you could” and many more such statements just make me feel weird.  If I am in a relationship, whats in it for me? A Benefit?

Phase four: The Fighting Phase – Most common one right?  Every fight happens over a benefit of either side, sometimes the word benefit (being selfish) itselt is the reason of the fight. I don’t think there is any other logical explanation other than “selfishness” being the reason for/of all breakups. Sometimes you are selfish for your needs and sometimes you are selfish for the needs of your partners. The Later, rarely happens. But still, Benefits it is.

Its getting worse day by day, more often I see relationships are more about Benefits and they even ignore the word friends.

May be its okay to do this? May be we live for our benefit…May be keeping yourself as a priority is not such a bad thing of course there exist a thin line of control but who cares? all we care is ” Whats in it for me?”


Written by Gaurav Julka

January 11, 2012 at 3:16 PM

Posted in #Choices

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